Time is not the Healer!

There is a general belief among people that “time heals all wounds”. Is it really true? Has anyone who has lost his very near and dear one sometime in his life can say time has healed his wound?! Not exactly! Actually, it can haunt them after years, even decades.

Frijda says time heals no wounds! He goes one more step further and states a law, interestingly, called as The Law of Conservation of Emotional Momentum (quoting from his book on The Laws of Emotion): emotional events retain their power to elicit emotions indefinitely, unless counteracted by repetitive exposures that permit extinction or habituation, to the extent that these latter are possible.

Hence time is the not the answer to heal the wounds, rather, either it has to be overwritten by some other event, or you become habituated to it within the extent to which it is possible.  The effect of loss of a dear one never becomes a neutral event. Still life goes on for them. But does that mean the wound has healed? No. The studies have shown that anytime in future when the concerned person experience a stimuli that is similar to the original one, like, seen some unbidden images that resembles the dear one, that same fresh emotion can come back with the same or even more intensity. Likewise, there has been many instances that a person affected by a fire accident experiences a sudden shivering, panic like what he felt previously when he smells burning even after many years.

Thus as Frijda says beautifully “certain old pains just do not grow old; they only refer to old events”. So the time is not the healer!

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